03Loved
Have the conversations now that most couples reach years too late.
Not because anything is wrong. Because the questions that quietly decide how a marriage goes — money, family, expectations, intimacy — are much easier to ask before they arrive attached to a specific argument.
You're in the right place if…
- You agree on almost everything, and some part of you finds that suspicious.
- Money conversations end faster than they should.
- You have very different pictures of what a normal week looks like.
- One set of parents is going to be a topic, and you both know which.
- One of you wants children sooner than the other has said out loud.
- You would rather start well than repair later.
Nothing here worrying you? Good — this is still the cheapest, easiest time to do this work. Most couples come because things are going well and they would like to keep it that way.
What working together looks like
No mystery, no long intake process. Four steps, and you can stop at any of them.
01
A free fifteen minutes
Both of you, on a call, before anything is booked. You ask what it involves, I tell you honestly whether the timing works. No charge and no obligation.
02
The SYMBIS assessment
You each complete it separately, online, in about half an hour. It surfaces where you already agree and where you have quietly assumed you agree.
03
Four to six sessions
We walk your results together and use them as the map — money, family, expectations, conflict and intimacy — spending the time where you actually need it.
04
What to revisit later
You leave with the two or three conversations worth having again in a year, and the language to start them. That is the part that outlasts the wedding.
How I work
Practical, not preachy — you leave with things you actually use.
Premarital work has a reputation for being either a box to tick or a lecture about marriage. This is neither. The SYMBIS assessment does the awkward part for us — it asks you both the questions you would not think to ask each other, separately, so nobody has to raise the uncomfortable one first.
What we do with the results is the actual work. Most couples find one or two genuine surprises and a handful of places where they had each assumed agreement. Those are cheap to sort out now and expensive to discover in year four.
You will leave with specific things you use: how you will handle money, what you have each agreed about family, and the two or three conversations worth having again in a year.
- SYMBIS certified facilitator
- Gottman Relationship Checkup
- Gottman Method, Levels 1 & 2
- Canadian Certified Counsellor
Who you'll work with
Lauren Harnett
Counselling & coaching · EMDR, Gottman, SYMBIS
Shey Balzer
Individual counselling · Family Counselling
More than one of us does premarital counselling. If you'd rather not choose, book the free fifteen minutes and I'll match you.
“Through her knowledge and tools she helped us learn more about ourselves individually and as a couple.”
Questions people ask first
How far ahead should we book?
Three to six months before the wedding is ideal — far enough out that planning has not taken over your calendar, close enough that it feels real. Later is still worth doing. So is after the wedding, if that is where you are.
What is SYMBIS?
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts — a research-based assessment you each complete separately. It gives us a map of where you match, where you differ, and where you have each assumed the other agrees. It is included in the premarital series.
Is this the same as pre-marital or pre-marriage counselling?
Yes. Premarital, pre-marital and pre-marriage counselling — or counseling, if you learned the American spelling — are the same thing: the conversations worth having before the wedding, with someone whose job is to make them easier. Some couples also call it marriage preparation. Whatever you searched for, this is it.
Do we need to be religious?
No. SYMBIS has religious roots and a secular version, and I use whichever fits you. If faith is part of your marriage we will make room for it; if it is not, nothing here requires it.
Do you perform the ceremony?
No — I am a counsellor, not an officiant. This is the work underneath the wedding rather than the wedding itself.
What does it cost?
Current fees are on the About page, and the SYMBIS assessment is included in the premarital series. Package pricing is available for the full run of sessions — ask on the consult call.
Fifteen free minutes, well before the day.
We'll talk about where you are, what the series involves, and whether the timing works. No pressure, and no wedding-industry upsell.
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