02Connected
You're having the same argument in different clothes.
It's rarely the dishes, or the money, or the tone. Underneath most repeated arguments is one question neither of you has managed to ask out loud. This is couples counselling for the version of that question you're actually living with.
You're in the right place if…
- The argument changes shape but never actually ends.
- One of you has quietly stopped bringing things up.
- You're being polite with each other, and that feels worse than fighting.
- You can't remember the last conversation that wasn't logistics.
- Something happened, and you've both agreed not to talk about it.
- You want to know whether this is fixable before you decide anything.
Not sure you'd both describe it the same way? That's normal, and it isn't a reason to wait. Bring whatever you've each got to the free fifteen minutes and we'll start there.
What working together looks like
No mystery, no long intake process. Four steps, and you can stop at any of them.
01
A free fifteen minutes
Both of you, together, so nobody arrives cold or feels like the other one got there first. You ask whatever you need to. No charge, no obligation, no forms.
02
A first session
What's happening now, how long it's been happening, and what each of you would want to be different. You will both get the floor, and neither of you will lose it.
03
The work
Gottman-informed sessions on communication, trust and repair. The Relationship Checkup is available when a fuller picture would help us aim better.
04
Checking in
Every few sessions we step back and say out loud what's shifting and what isn't. You should be able to feel the difference between progress and attendance.
How I work
We work on repair, not on who was right.
Most couples arrive believing they have a communication problem. Usually they communicate fine — they have simply learned that certain conversations end badly, so they have stopped having them. The work is making those conversations survivable again, so you no longer have to route around them.
I am Gottman-trained, which in practice means we pay attention to how you argue rather than only what you argue about: whether criticism has crept in, whether one of you shuts down, whether repair attempts get made and missed. The Gottman Relationship Checkup is available when we would both benefit from a fuller picture than a session can give.
No sides taken, and no one leaves as the problem. If I think you would be better served by individual work first — one of you, or both — I will say so.
- Gottman Method, Levels 1 & 2
- Gottman Relationship Checkup
- Canadian Certified Counsellor
Who you'll work with
Lauren Harnett
Counselling & coaching · EMDR, Gottman, SYMBIS
Shey Balzer
Individual counselling · Family Counselling
More than one of us does marriage counselling. If you'd rather not choose, book the free fifteen minutes and I'll match you.
“Warm, welcoming, and a completely no-pressure place to share. She has excellent insight, and asks the questions that help you answer your own concerns.”
Questions people ask first
Do we both have to come?
For couples work, yes — the work happens between you, not inside one of you. If your partner isn't willing yet, come on your own and we'll work on your side of it. That is genuinely useful, and it is often what changes the conversation at home.
What if one of us has already decided?
Then say so early, including in the free fifteen minutes. Counselling can be a place to separate honestly and well, and pretending otherwise wastes your money. I would rather help you have one clear conversation than sell you six sessions of hope.
Do you take sides?
No — though I will be direct with both of you rather than careful with neither. Nobody leaves a session as the designated problem. If you are both waiting to be declared the reasonable one, that is worth naming out loud in the first session.
Is it too late for us?
Couples rarely come apart because of conflict. They come apart because conflict never gets repaired. If you can both still tolerate being in a room together there is usually something to work with — and I will tell you honestly if I do not think there is.
What does it cost, and are we covered?
Current fees are on the About page, and couples sessions run 75 minutes. Some extended health plans cover a Canadian Certified Counsellor and many exclude couples work specifically — worth a call to your provider before we start.
Fifteen minutes, together, before you decide anything.
It's free, and it's a conversation rather than a session. You'll both get a sense of whether this is the right room — and I'll tell you honestly if it isn't.
Not quite it? The other three doors: